It was a conversation my wife knew would inevitably come, but it was still hard to bear. And not just for my wife, but for her mom, too. It was that telephone call a few weeks ago in which my mother-in-law (who will be 87 this summer) explained to her only daughter (my wife) that she will not ever again be able to leave Seattle and travel to Indiana to visit us in our home.
That conversation was a marker—the turning of a page—a loss. Still, we must focus on what we do have—not what we don’t have. Maureen, after all, can still fly to Seattle and see her mom.
And, Maureen’s mom lives in a wonderful place called Cristwood. Cristwood is an idyllic senior citizens community, nestled in a deep, wooded ravine, surrounded by towering fir trees and blooming-right-now rhododendrons. Cristwood is a Christian ministry, with several buildings; my mother-in-law’s fifth floor home overlooks a landscaped terrace and peeks through the trees at Puget Sound. My Aunt Lavinia lives on the fourth floor. Cora Ashmore, Al and Dorris Cliff, Evelyn Skaggs, Helen Flynt, Violet Davis, and a host of other friends from our original church family (Fairview) have all called Cristwood home. Moving to Cristwood, though, is a marker, too. Selling your family home, downsizing, moving from the house-you-built hugging a Seattle hillside overlooking the Sound and mountains, figuring out what to give away and what to keep. We all know the drill. Not always easy. But, time marches on.
Moving to Cristwood presents some other challenges, too. Like getting to church. Cristwood is many miles from the Fairview Church—home to so many of its residents. Why, Lavinia and Violet and Helen and Dorris are the kind of anchors that tether churches together, over lifetimes. Evelyn’s husband was my pastor from the time I was five until I was a junior in high school. How could they leave Fairview behind?
In the end, they couldn’t. And they didn’t. All of these dear ones (now in their 80’s), my mother-in-law included, have banded together to make the commute to Fairview. Over fifteen miles of tedious Seattle traffic (and yes, it’s tedious, even on Sunday), separate Fairview and Cristwood. But the stalwarts at Cristwood will not surrender the church-of-a-lifetime. They have organized themselves to make a way.
They car pool. Everybody takes a turn—usually just once a month—driving to and from church. They ride, talk, laugh, and make plans together. Sometimes, they stop at the Northgate Food Court (on the way home) after church on Sunday and enjoy Ivar’s Fish ‘n Chips or Kidd Valley’s scrumptious hamburgers and shakes. On other days, they hurry home for their own Sunday lunch.
My mother-in-law takes her turn. So does Cora. And Lavinia. And Helen. Dorris has Parkinson’s, so it’s more difficult for her. But, she never misses a Sunday at Fairview, either—everybody works together to make sure everybody gets there and back. Some have been friends for years, raising their children together. Others have become friends only recently. But, all are friends. Friends from church.
In the end, what we have, even if we lose other things, is our relationships. Our health may fail, our address may change, our circumstances may be altered, but the sweet fellowship of the Body of Christ is a treasure that never has to fade. Moving always brings some loss—and some gain. But, the treasure of Christian friendship trumps any change life swings our way. Maureen’s mom may not be able to fly to Indy, but she can still get to Fairview.
And, how about that move to Madison Park? If the Lord isn’t calling you to serve in ministry at Scatterfield, don’t let the move to Madison Park separate you from the congregation you call home. Madison Park is easy to get to—there’s not a lot of traffic in Anderson on Sundays—the parking at Madison Park will be easier than at Scatterfield— there’s a seat there with your name on it.
Would you like to car pool? Let us know, and we’ll help organize others from your area. Would you like to drive to Scatterfield and ride a shuttle to Madison Park? We’re working on that, too.
All of the people I know at Cristwood have no regrets about moving—or commuting to church. Sure, it’s been a big change for them—but, they’re loving it. I want to live that way, too. Change? It’s not always easy, but it can be blessed. Just think of what we still have: friends, a loving church family, and a place to call home.
See you at Madison Park this summer. Well, except for that couple of Sundays on vacation, when I’ll be in Seattle, at Fairview, with the Cristwood crew. We love you, North... er uh, I mean, soon-to-be Madison Park... our church family.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
My wife and I have visited the past couple of Sundays and appreciate very much your messages and the worship service. We currently attend a church (26 yrs) but just recently felt moved to visit North. We have three adult children whom all attend church, one of them at North. Our problem is this: How do you know when it is time to change churches? My wife attended the Church of God as a child and I attended a Pilgrim of Holliness church. It is so hard to leave our current church because we have strong friendships. But here it is Tuesday and the message you shared on Sunday is still in our hearts. The message our minister preached, we cannot remember. We have placed blank sheets of papers on the doors of our home and work to remind us to seek God's will/calling without preconcieved thoughts/henderings. We want God's will in our lives.
Jim may decide to answer this himself, but I have heard him respond to this question many times so let me take a shot at is as well.
Leaving a church that you have been attending for years can be a heartrending proposition - both for you and for the body you leave behind. Unless you are going to move to a different city far away, I would generally recommend against it.
That said, there are times when God does call us to move to another church body. I would say that this is a long-term process of prayer, searching, and discussion with many people. It is not something to be entered into lightly or without much prayerful consideration. Be sure that your reasons are godly and not based in simple preferences.
In the end, trust God and He will provide guidance.
Ahhh! Thinking of Lavinia, Helen and everyone reminds me of so many wonderful memories, including my Grandparents, Al and Naomi Vaughn. What wonderful legacies they have left and will leave behind and those that have gone before. The beautiful memories just warms my heart, especially Johnny "Lifesaver Man" Worthen. How thankful we are, that they all and we all know the main "Lifesaver," Jesus!
God Bless,
Beth
Post a Comment