Tuesday, June 5, 2007

A Season of Change

I had never been to a Cracker Barrel before. It was the first Saturday in June, 1991; I sat at a table, for the first time, with Jim and Jill Rogers.

Jim was working then for the Gaither Studio—and an additional few hours each week as the youth pastor at North. The church had lost its youth minister the year before and Jim and Jill had agreed to step into the void temporarily, bridging the program until another pastor could be found. But, as months went by, they found a kind of fulfillment working with teenagers they had not known before. And it wasn’t just the kids they enjoyed; they also loved working with the other adult volunteers, developing friendships and watching God bless.

I was the new Senior Pastor, in town to buy a house before moving to Anderson a few months later. “Could it be that God is calling us into the ministry?” “What do you think Pastor Lyon?” I told them about my own call to ministry. It seemed like my story was much like theirs, only I was just a bit farther down the road.

After some serious prayer, I spoke also with North’s lay leadership. They, too, had seen the Lord’s hand on Jim and Jill and encouraged me to explore with them the possibilities of a fulltime post. I did. And the Rogers’ said, “Yes!” Jim and I began working full-time at North on the same day, August 11, 1991.

Jim and Jill, Maureen and I became close friends. They invited us into their home on our first Christmas Day in Anderson, when we felt otherwise quite alone. They made us a part of their family. Jill made a pot of chili, with salad and treats on the buffet, in their house in old Edgewood. We drank hot chocolat and watched Josh and Nathanael play in the family room; the boys were then two years old. As we drove home, Maureen and I talked about how important the Rogers had become to us; we could not have survived the adjustment of moving from Seattle to Anderson without them by our side.

Jim’s ministry evolved at North. From youth to administration to discipleship and education to pastoral care to Senior Associate, leading the Associate staff. He stepped forward to preach. He mastered weddings and funerals. He helped dream dreams. He held steady when I might have faltered, walking the long road that has brought us to Madison Park.

Jill kept the homefires burning, through it all. She pioneered ministry for special needs children at North, sang in the Women’s Ensemble, ministered to the pastor’s wives, organized back-up singers for the Retro, whipped up a mean latte in the Holy Grounds, hosted a small group, and oh-so-much-more.

Our families went to the pumpkin patch together. To Siesta Key for spring break. Out to dinner. Over for dinner. To the movies. Jim and I went to India. Maureen and Jill went to Seattle. Our sons became brothers. Maureen stood by Jill’s bed as Caleb was born. I stood beside them as they dedicated Caleb and Libby to the Lord. We’ve laughed and cried. Through triumphs and tragedies. They have blessed us, as I know they have blessed many of you. We have been strengthened by their love and witness, as I know you have been, as well.

But, some very tough challenges, in time, chased Jim and Jill down. In the end, their marriage has unraveled. It’s a complex and sad story—such stories always are. A sobering tale of loss and grief, broken hearts and missed moments. It is not necessary to visit the details; it’s enough to know that two people held very dear by all of us have found themselves in a desperate season— and their children find themselves now living in a broken home.

As a consequence, Jim has stepped forward to resign from his position as our Senior Associate, effective June 1. He has not done so because of a moral failure or gross sin, but because he knows that given the circumstances, many of which are beyond his control, he needs to focus on rebuilding his life, investing in his children, and developing a new reservoir of emotional and spiritual energy before venturing back into a leadership role.

The ministry can require you to deliver a lot to others; Jim knows he doesn’t have that much to give right now.

Perhaps, someday, he will be clothed, once more, in a pastor’s mantle—but not now. And with this assessment, the Board of Elders, his psychologist, his friends on the staff, and yes, this Senior Pastor all agree.

It is with unspeakable sadness that I write these things. Jim and Jill, Josh, Caleb, and Libby are treasured more than words can tell. It is impossible for me to comprehend that they are not still one family. But, things are as they are.

Pray for them. Each one. Love them. Every one. Lift them up and expect the best from them. All of them, even as they walk through this deep valley. May the Lord bring them healing and place, as they seek His perfect will and way.

And, thank God for the years Jim and Jill have poured into the Lord’s work at North. We will never be the same.

I love you, Jim and Jill. My heart aches for you. Please know that you and your children will always be a part of our family. Just like you made us a part of yours so many Christmases ago.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have always remembered when the Roger's lived next door to me while I was growing up. I remember babysitting their kids, not knowing that Jim would then become my youth pastor! I later returned the action with excitement as I then became their kid's youth leader. I have many, many memories of the Roger's family over they years.

From spiritual enrichment, to predicting who I would marry before I even saw the girl, Jim has been a blessing in my life.

My prayers goes out to each member of the Roger family. I hold you each dearly and you have all made me who I am today.
Nick Tanner

Anonymous said...

Reading this article on the Roger's brings many memories to mind for Mark and I as we too experienced similar circumstances with the state of our marriage. We certainly could have had a much sadder outcome, but it was because of God, Jim Lyon, Jim Rogers, and our church family that Mark and I were able to rise to the mountain top from the deep valley we found ourselves in just a few years ago.

Jim Lyon, Jim Rogers, and our church family became a refuge for us and provided a safe place for healing to take place. Four years later we still marvel at God's grace and mercy He has shown us, and are very much aware of how things could have turned out differently. We thank Him everyday for what He has done.

Mark and I are saddened that Jim, Jill, and their family are experiencing this spiritual attack, but we have faith in God as the author of restitution and reconciliation. We urge everyone to support and lift them up in prayer just as you did Mark and I and see what God will do. Be encouraged.

Blessings,
Mark and Dori Lawler

Anonymous said...

"ACCEPTANCE DOES NOT MEAN APPROVAL"

When my younger brother left his first wife and four young children, for his older brother's son's wife, our family was shocked and embarrassed and some took sides. Our first generation Nazarene mother, strict as she was, still welcomed all persons involved into our home. When criticized for her "open door" policy and her forgiving spirit, with tears in her eyes she said: "acceptance does not mean approval."

If my younger brother makes it to heaven, it may largely be because our mother accepted him when she didn't approve of his actions.

Mother's loving words of wisdom have helped me through many similar situations as a pastor's wife.

This caring, forgiving article which you wrote, is a masterpiece to which some make take objection. However,it clearly demonstrates the way all of us should react to this sad news and to other difficult situations, which will surface in the church in the future.

Let us all remember that "acceptance does not mean approval."

Your family and the Roger's family are in our prayers.

Jeanette MacMillan

Anonymous said...

I can never put into words what Jim Rogers means to me personally and to my entire family. I also can not describe the amount of respect I have for Jill and the children. I have learned, been encouraged, been inspired, and know what God's character is all about because of their dedication to serving.

NONE OF THAT CHANGES FOR ME. I will continue to pray for strength, courage and healing becasue we are ONE FAMILY and we all need it.

On a more personal note about Jim, I can tell you that I had a meeting with him couple of years ago that has changed my life. Jim Rogers is someone who I will always be thankful to God for.

Jay Harvey and Family

Anonymous said...

Jim Rogers and God alone are responsible for the renewal of our wedding vows seven years ago. We spent about six months of weekly counsel in Jim's office. We had gone to him as a last-ditch effort, after about 3 years of being separated, to see if he could help us out. Needless to say, he did. He was able to get through to us both in a way that no one else could. God revealed Himself to us through Jim Rogers. He helped us to bring the focus of our marriage back to God.

We are now blessed with a wonderful, Christ-centered marriage and two wonderful children whom we had the privilege of having Jim Rogers dedicate to the Lord. We have thanked Jim over and over throughout the past seven years for all he has done for us and our marriage. He and his family have become close personal friends. Libby was our Olivia's first little friend.

Our hearts are SO heavy with the news of the divorce and Jim's resignation. We know that there are hundreds of stories like ours of how Jim has changed lives through his ministry at North.
We love Jim and his family and our prayers and the prayers of our church family in Knoxville, Tennessee are with you during this horrible storm in your life. God is good and faithful. His plan is perfect. He WILL prevail. The storm will end.

We love you,
Michael and Kimmie
(The McFall Family)