I’m profoundly introverted. That means that I process thoughts and ideas, almost to the extreme, internally, privately. My mind is always switched on, my brain seems to be in overdrive, and my head spins with ideas all of the time. But, I rarely speak about them.
Yes, yes, I know you hear me talk incessantly. In a way, I am paid to talk. But, talking out loud is not my nature. I have to work at it. Because, I’m an introvert.
That’s not to say that I don’t have conversations routinely. I do. The problem is, many of those conversations are in my head; I’m so dysfunctional that sometimes I can’t remember if I actually had a conversation out loud with someone or if I just had it in my mind—a conversation in which I spoke to and listened to myself (and just thought it was you). I’m a mess.
Extroverts, on the other hand, process thoughts and ideas externally. They find it helpful to articulate everything, as part of the journey to a conclusion. Introverts are prone to come to conclusions silently and then articulate them. Such is the wonder and diversity of human life. Both introverts and extroverts are imagined by God and complement each other.
Of course, no one is exclusively introvert or extrovert. We usually fall somewhere in between on a continuum. I just happen to fall toward—way toward—the introverted side.
Over the years, as I have become aware of my native introversion, I have also been attempting to balance it—to force myself to speak my thoughts, instead of just thinking them: to share, disclose, process, and listen more actively. I’ve made some progress; I still have some distance to go.
What might I disclose today? What might I share today that might be relevant and helpful? How should I engage the larger world around me? Hmmm. That’s my challenge, day-by-day. Maybe that’s your challenge, too.
Let’s see. Well, first, let me tell you that I’m still very excited about Madison Park and what God is doing there—and what He will do there. I honestly still get a rush every time I walk into the building. I am energized by the conversations I observe in the Commons, by the ministry that takes place everywhere under that roof. From the kids’ wing to the Crossroads Auditorium and all of the Main Street classrooms in between—well, it’s just awesome to see God (and His people!) at work.
I’m excited about what happens in the Main Auditorium, too. The kneeling response at the end of each Sunday service has been very moving. God is speaking—and people are listening. I’m actually excited about the empty seats, too. Because each one of those seats is appointed for someone we haven’t seen yet.
I recently visited a church (Buckhead Church in Atlanta) where the pastor has this sentence pinned to the wall: “If we want to reach people no one else has reached yet, we’ll have to do things no one else has done yet.” Yep, I’m excited on Sundays as I see people finding their seats—and noticing how much room there is to grow, too.
To be truthful, I do grow weary sometimes of listening to people find fault. The world is full of problems and things that need to be mended—no doubt about it. But, listening to people talk often about how unhappy they are with this or that, well, it just wears me out. That’s when I want to retreat into my introversion. I’m not speaking about church complaints here—I’m just talking about complaints, period. I’ve endured people complaining about restaurants and schools and spouses and friends and government and the weather and how they’ve been wronged and how “nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen” and, well, you get the idea.
I’m invited out of my introverted shell, though, by those who problem-solve and look at the world around them with promise... people who see God at work, always find something positive to say, put the best spin on things, eschew cynicism, and extend grace. When the table server at the restaurant fumbles, well, “we all make mistakes.” When wronged, “I’ve probably wounded somebody along the way, too.” When disappointed when expectations are not met, “God always works things together for the good.” When faced with the broken, “I know God can work this out.”
Now, that’s processing externally in a healthy way. And, that’s the way I want to process internally, too.
Help bring me out of my cave and give me a word of grace and hope. It’s always good to hear a good report. Always. I’ll try and extrovert in the same way for you, too. Be encouraged.
And, oh yes, I need to say it: I love my church family. Absolutely. Unconditionally. How could I not love you? You are the best. Whew. That felt good. I said it. Out loud. And, on paper.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
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4 comments:
Introverts, unite! : )
I, too, am an introvert who has struggled to figure out just how that fits with ministry. A prof told me once that introverts tend to stick around for the long haul instead of running after exciting "greener grass" opportunities when they come along. Perhaps your introversion has been a part of the key to why you have served faithfully and effectively at North/MPC for so long.
-kls
I am an introvert, too. Sometimes, I reach that point of "paralysis of analysis," as my father puts it. I get stuck in a state of over-analysis in my own head --- but that presents an awesome opportunity! It gives me a chance to talk with someone else about something that is really important to me. When I do that, I am saying to that/those person(s): "I value you"... and the cool thing is, I don't even have to say those exact words.
I am late in reading the Blog this week (since today is Sunday the 23) but I know what you mean about people always complaining. I have prayed so much about being better than that so I could influence others at work mainly.
I have had to overcome a very negative family, they have been that way for generations, and I have made progress only because of my obsession of the Lord. You see I discovered He is the only one who has ever Really loved me and when I was first saved I would talk to anyone, even in the grocery store, about how real he is and NOW I know him. People thought I was crazy, yes, I was crazy about Jesus. Could you pray about putting together teaching that would connect to a movement, a positive movement, to reverse the curse of negativism. A HAPPY POSITIVE ANDERSON “SWEET” now that would attract the ‘World” of the saved and unsaved! Take me up on it Jim!
Anonymous
Jim, I know one thing we at Madison Park are fortunate to have an Introvert from Seatle like you to lead us. God delivered you to Indiana for a very high purpose and that may be to pull this town more towards a spiritual path.
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